Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
