i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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