fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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