Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
