Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize