Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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