haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
