We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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