Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
