There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
