So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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