I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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