So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
