sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
