It's Friday. Sex?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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