i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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