Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Are we still banned from the library?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
