ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
