Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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