I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
