Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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