she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
