everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
