I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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