Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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