the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
