Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the day after is always just damage control
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
