so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
