Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
