if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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