do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
