Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
