I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
