My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
