I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
