i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
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He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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