How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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