and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Im part way to drunk.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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