grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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