What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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