so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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