Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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