you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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