I heard we made out
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
