We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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