I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
