it wasn't lemon gatorade
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
