I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
