I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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