I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Someone shit on the floor
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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