remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize