chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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