I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
