hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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