so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
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You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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