I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
