Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
