I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
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Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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