There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you traded sex for a burrito?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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