I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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